The Not So Odd Couple
by Mysterytay
Summary: What is the fate of the Odd Couple? Will Squidward, and Sandy come to their senses? The final installment of the "Odd Couple" series. Takes place after "Anger Management."


**A/N: Hi everybody! I haven't written in a while, because I've been in college and I have a lot of homework. I will try to write, but it will be less often. Anyway this is the fifth installation to the "Odd Couple" series, and possibly the last. I don't know for sure yet, but I wanted to write something that would wrap it all up. I might do a few one-shots with Squidward and Sandy afterwards. No promises. Takes place after "Anger Management." So here we go!**

**Disclaimer: Oh, the things I would do if I owned "SpongeBob SquarePants!" (Maniacle laugh!)**

The Not So Odd Couple

There was a loud bang as Squidward slammed his door shut.

"I'm glad that's over!" He sighed in relief. The miserable octopus had just had his final Anger Management session. He wasn't sure who he was happier to be away from; that annoying quack of a "doctor," or that unclassy squirrel that made his blood boil in two completely different ways. He shuddered, not wanting to think about it.

Squidward grumbled to himself as he plopped down on the couch.

"Finally, some peace and quiet." The quiet was interrupted by a loud flush. The cephalopod turned, a pink idiot met his gaze. "Patrick, what are you doing here?"

"I had to use your bathroom," the star fish replied, while scratching his bottom.

"Why couldn't you use yours?"

"Your toilet paper is softer," Patrick simply stated, as if his reasonings were completely logical. The star fish makes his way to Squidward's refrigerator, and starts pulling out anything that looks interesting.

"Patrick!" Squidward exclaims, getting up to follow him. "Get out of my house!"

"I sense something is troubling you," said Patrick. "Somebody, perhaps?"

"Yeah, it's you!"

"Now Squidward, you shouldn't blame others for your problems," the simpleton scolded while bathing himself in sea-nut butter. Squidward groaned in frustration. His Anger Management instructor had been constantly drilling that into his skull. He certainly didn't need to hear it from this buffoon.

"Patrick, I already have enough issues to deal with," Squidward said through clenched teeth. "I would greatly appreciate it if you would just LEAVE ME ALONE!" His head was steaming.

"It's a girl, isn't it!" Patrick guessed. Squidward was taken aback.

"Wha... n-no... How did you know?" The octopus stuttered. He couldn't believe this imbecile had just confirmed what these strange feelings for the mammal meant.

"Know what?" Patrick asked. Squidward face-palmed at his stupidity.

"OUT!" He ordered, getting behind Patrick, and pushing him towards the door. He struggled against his weight.

"Maybe you should apologize," the chubby star suggested. Squidward froze in confusion.

"For what?" He asked.

"What for?" Patrick asked. At that last sentence, Squidward pushed Patrick out the door, and slammed it shut. Then he started pacing. How did that imbecile know what was going on? He decided he didn't want to think about it. The emotions swirled around him like coral in a blender. He couldn't stop thinking about Sandy.

Dr. Halibut had separated them. They hadn't spoken to each other since their fight. When they saw each other at the sessions, they each greeted the other with cold stares; but he could still feel the heat, confusion, frustration, and what was this emotion he couldn't put his tentacle on? What he felt when she had looked at him with... pain, was it? It was brief, but he caught it. When he told her he made all that stuff up about her just to fool Squilliam, not because he really liked her for herself. Could it be... no, it couldn't possibly... but it was.

Guilt. Squidward Tentacles felt guilty.

"Oh, that idiot was right," he sighed. "I have to apologize." It felt disgusting saying it out loud, but he had to do it, or the guilt wouldn't go away. He would go over to her tree dome, look her straight in the eye, and apologize; ew. That's it. After that he thought it would be best to go back to they way things were before he asked her to pretend to be his girlfriend. He didn't want to go over there, but he found himself wanting to see her. Now a new emotion, dread added itself to the mix.

"What will she say?" The octopus wondered out loud. Would they end up fighting again? He gathered himself "C'mon Squidward, just do it!" These feelings would never leave if he didn't do it. It was time to rip off the band-aid.

He was about to head out the door, when something caught his eye. A rope was sitting in the corner. Sandy's wranglin' rope. He went over, and picked it up. She must have left it there when they were hand cuffed together. Well, he was going to her house anyway, so he might as well return it. He stuffed it in a nonexistent pocket, and headed out the door.

...

Sandy had turned her house upside down, searching frantically for one of her most prized possessions; her GrandPappy's wranglin' rope. He had passed it down to her; it was all she had left of him. The place was practically trashed. Sandy was nearly in tears. She couldn't believe she had lost it. After hours of looking, she had to sit down a minute, to calm herself. Taking deep breaths, the anxiety stifled.

"It's around here somewhere," she assured herself. "By GrandPappy's spurred boots, I'll search all over Bikini Bottom!" She got up to get her space suit, and water helmet, when she heard the alarm, and then a knock on the door.

"Who in tarnation is that?" She answered the door, and was surprised to find Squidward standing there with a water helmet on. "Squidward? What'd ya'll want?" She asked, rather rudely. Sandy didn't want to admit it, but she actually missed the stiff. She felt resentment, and a twinge of pain. He hurt her, but she would never let him know. She had that tough-as-nails reputation to keep up. She thought they were becoming good friends, and he had to ruin it with that phony kiss.

Squidward felt the bitterness he felt when they last spoke, but the guilt over powered it. "Uh, Sandy... I uh..." he started.

"Spit it out already. I'm busy." Squidward couldn't bring himself to say it. He wanted to, but it completely went against his nature. He sweated, and strained, then abandoned his original intention.

"I I... h-have something of yours," he pulled her wranglin' rope out of no where, and handed it to her. Stunned, Sandy didn't know what to say. Relief washed through her. She let her emotions get the better of her. Without realizing what she was doing, she threw herself onto the lanky cephalopod, and wrapped him in a tight hug. She was laughing, and sobbing at the same time. She was so happy he found it; she thought she would never seeing it again.

Squidward stiffened. He was confused. At first he rolled his eyes, and said: "Women," to himself. Then it hit him when his eyes scanned over the ransacked room, and he felt her heart pounding against him. This stupid piece of rope must have meant a lot to her. She was afraid she had lost it forever. He could relate. He didn't want to think about what would happen, should he lose his precious clarinet. In that instant, all the bitterness he had before, vanished. He had never seen Texas tough, Sandy Cheeks like this before.

Her arms were tight around his neck. Hesitantly, Squidward returned the hug. He pulled her closer. Her body heat practically melted him. Suddenly it was all to much for him. His guilt exploded from him.

"I'm sorry!" He blurted out. Sandy broke free, shock on her face. Was the ocean's biggest ego really apologizing to her? It all poured from him in an endless stream. "I'm sorry I kissed you without asking first! I'm sorry I called you a hick! I'm sorry I said I was embarrassed to be seen with you. I really meant it when I said I liked you when you were loud in public. I really do like you for you. Squilliam, or no Squilliam. I-I'm sorry I hurt you!" By the time he finished, he was panting. It built up so much; it felt great to get it all out.

Sandy's eyes were as wide as a deer's in headlights. She was in utter disbelief. As a response, she gave him another hug. It was quick this time.

"I accept," she said after she pulled away. She heard the octopus sigh in relief. "and I'm sorry too."

"Why are you sorry?" Squidward asked, truly curious. _He_ had been the jerk. Sandy continued:

"I'm sorry I called ya'll an uppidy snob. I'm sorry I knocked yer head on that coral tree. "I'm sorry I threw yer clarinet out the window. I'm sorry I slapped you. Ya shoulda asked me first, but I coulda reacted better."

"I also accept," Squidward replied. They smiled at each other, and stood there in silence. Squidward was the first to break it. "So... are we uh... still friends?"

"'Course!" Sandy replied with false enthusiasm. She didn't know exactly what she felt for him, but it was a little more than friendship. She had been fighting it back. More awkward silence. Squidward rubbed the back of his neck. He would never be able to look at her the same way again.

"So, what's the significance of this?" Squidward asked, holding the rope up.

"That was my GrandPappy's wranglin' rope," Sandy explained. "He gave it to me when I was just a youngin'. He was the biggest rodeo champion in all of Texas! He's gone now."

"Oh," was all Squidward could say. They shuffled their feet as more silence passed. Sandy suddenly had the urge to figure out what all these feelings were about. During all this time, she had grown to care for the beanpole just as much as she did for SpongeBob, and Patrick. She was afraid, for once in her life, but she had to know. What she was about to do would be as bold as one of her extreme stunts. If not, more.

"Squidward, I need to try something," she finally spoke up, drawing closer to him.

"W-which is..." Squidward started to feel reluctant. Her closeness made him a little uncomfortable. Deep down he already knew what she was going to ask.

"Squidward, can I kiss you?" The squirrel asked of the octopus. Squidward didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure what to expect when he came over here, but this was not even close to what he had thought. He knew deep within, he wanted to. Over the course of their recent interactions, his feelings had deepened for her. After all their time together, excluding their previous encounter, they really enjoyed each others' company. He had to know if this was real. It was time for him to take part in her crazy stunts. He took a breath to calm himself.

"If you must," Squidward smirked. Sandy giggled, as she removed his water helmet. Squidward held his breath. She held his head between her hands, and slowly drew hers nearer to his. They closed their eyes, as her warm lips touched his cold ones. They melted into each other while the kiss deepened. Sandy felt tentacles on her waist. Squidward pulled her tight against him.

They both felt it. That same spark as the first time, only this time it was real. The frustration, and confusion faded, but the heat remained. They pulled apart. Squidward quickly put his helmet back on. They simply stared at each other. Dazed by their shared intensity. Without thinking, Sandy hugged him again; he hugged her back.

"I knew I was irresistable, but.." Squidward said with narcissism. He was starting to like the warm feeling she gave him.

"Oh, stop," Sandy giggled onto his shoulder. "Ya wanna go get some coffee?"

"It's not like I have anything better to do," he answered. Sandy went to get her space suit, and air helmet. Squidward left his water helmet behind. As Sandy was about to open the door, Squidward's voice halted her. "Hold hands, and make it convincing," he said. Sandy laughed, recalling their fake dates. She took his tentacle, and the odd couple walked out the door.

**A/N: Well, that's the end of the "Odd Couple" series, maybe. They might be a little out of character, but let me know if they're _really _not themselves. Aloha for now. Review, review, review!**


End file.
